In divorce, managing conflict is more important than immediate resolution. Effective mediation isn’t about winning or convincing the mediator—it’s about helping couples find shared, intentional solutions. A resolution should focus on mutual interests, not compromise or control.

Couples often enter mediation unprepared, expecting the mediator to solve everything. In reality, the best outcomes come when both parties understand their financial picture and enter with a mindset of cooperation. Preparing financial documents and proposing a plan beforehand can reduce costs and delays.

Conflict escalates when one spouse withholds financial information or uses the process to control assets. Transparency is key to a smoother, more affordable process. Whether mediation is done in separate rooms (caucus) or together, choosing the right approach matters.

The “11 Rules of Engagement” encourage preparation, emotional regulation, curiosity, and empathy. Avoiding absolutes, listening to professionals, and taking breaks when needed can help move the process forward. Asking questions like “What will it take?” can unlock trust and meaningful negotiation.

A Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® (CDFA®) plays a critical role by helping clients understand their full financial picture, avoid costly mistakes, and evaluate proposed outcomes. CDFAs® support mediators and couples by offering informed financial strategies that help achieve fair, workable settlements.